Today was the last push. I saw a post in one of the animal groups, and when I saw the picture of the dog, and connected with him, he said:
“enough, please, I can’t go through anymore of this. You gotta speak up”.
So, here I am speaking up for them. I have heard this from many animal companions/pets, and they have been nudging me to share this for a while now.
Warning: This may come as very uncomfortable to some Pet Guardians/ Pet Parents, but it is my job to let you know. You have to know, because that is what the animal companions have been asking me to write about.
I do want to note here right off the bat that it is NOT meant to come off as a judgment of you or to make you feel bad, you are a caring and loving Pet Guardian/Pet Parent that wants the best.
Quality of life could mean different definition or points of view for each person. That’s ok, you are not right or wrong.
You might say that I don’t know what you are going through and how difficult that is.
I do want you to know, however, that I actually do know how that feels, I was in your shoes, not once.
Let me tell you about one of those times. Let me tell you about my beautiful girl Jenny, who had the most horrible seizures.
One morning I woke up at 5 am to something that sounded like an earth quake…. I ran quickly to the den, where she loved to sleep. I saw her going through a full blown seizure (which at first I didn’t even know what was going on).
Until that time, I have never been around a seizing animal (and I have been around hundreds of animals throughout my life). I consider myself lucky, as I have looked after many many many dogs at my VIP Home Doggie Sleepovers.
I ran to her, trying to support her, while she was flopping around. I was in shock to say the least…. Those of you that have pets with seizures, I am sure you can relate.
4 hours later she had another seizure, and then another one 4 hours later…… that started the road of 14 months of horrible cluster seizures that occurred almost every week and a half to two weeks apart that got worse and worse with time.
I have tried to do everything to “save her”. At the time, I believed that I must do whatever it takes to save her, to heal her, to make her better.
Can I tell you something that I didn’t admit to myself for a while? …. When she had that first seizure, I had already known, had the gut feeling, that it will never stop.
I have heard and know of many many Animal Companions who live with seizures. They are well managed and they live for years with an almost good quality of life.
My point here is to let you know… a seizure is not necessary a death sentence and EVERY SINGLE ANIMAL IS DIFFERENT and EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT!
It took me 14 months to finally be able to set Jenny free. I have learned from this experience tremendously and it also made me realize to trust my animal communication skills and capacities, more than anything ever before. Jenny had gifted me a huge gift through this ordeal.
The last push to set her free came when I had to visit my father who had a surgery. That day she was already on a high cocktail of medications. From the get go I knew they wouldn’t help, but I had the point of view that I had to try everything, so I won’t have any regrets (have you noticed what I’ve said: that “I WON’T HAVE ANY REGRETS”… that is a very common point of view, and not necessarily one that benefits the Animal Companion or what they want and need).
I came home to something that looked like someone came in and ransacked my house. There was pee on the couch, her water bowl was upside down…. She was pacing and crying non stop. Can you just imagine…. Coming from my visit with my father, who was in another town, knowing that I should have never left her alone, but having to visit him, knowing that something wasn’t right before I left (and I barely ever left the house for more than 2 hours during these 14 months)…..
What had happened was, the medication caused the seizure to get stuck in her brain… and she couldn’t fully have one.
Jenny was amazing… animals are amazing…. I let her out in the yard, I gave her water outside, she wobbled from side to side, walking in circles, falling all over the place, putting her paws in the water, walking into her water bowl…. She was a mess. But, she went straight for the weeds in the yard and the soil. She kept eating and eating the weeds and eating the soil, and drinking water and wobbling.
This went on for two hours or 3, I can’t really remember. I told her: no more medications. I gave her only a tiny doze not to cut it off too drastically completely, and then, I asked her, actually, begged her: “Please, Please, don’t have another seizure. I know what you are asking for”.
Yet, I still wasn’t sure.
She seemed to get better after the self treatment (thankfully it was summer, so she could get what she needed from the backyard).
I cried a lot, I fought with myself.
I called my holistic vet, who is caring and kind. He was so supportive. In the most kind way, he had told me that he doesn’t know what else to really do here, and suggested that I call the top neurological specialist whom has been treating Jenny now with the conventional medications.
I called her, and she was actually shocked that this was the case… she didn’t know what to tell me. She talked about increasing the drugs (at this point the dosage was the max that Jenny could receive, and she was slow and unhappy) and wait and see.
At that point, i knew that there is pretty much nothing else that can be done, and that I had to go on line and look for a Vet that could come to my house to let Jenny go (My caring and kind vet doesn’t do euthanasia…. It is something he chooses not to do).
I called few… didn’t get the feeling that they would be the right ones…. And then I found the one. I called, left a message asking for information and details, and she called me shortly after. She had told me the dates and the time she can come. I told her that I will send her an email with my decision.
So, all this of course happened on Friday afternoon into the weekend.
Still not sure, I was going to sleep on it.
We had a good evening and a good morning…. And Jenny looked into my eyes, I knew what she was telling me: “Are you going to let me go now please?”…. and I still needed confirmation. Luckily, and this was truly a huge gift as I might have still tried to keep saving her, I was able to get a hold of an animal communicator that day. She had confirmed that Jenny wants me to set her free.
Jenny and I spent a few days enjoying each other’s company…. She did not have another seizure again.
Jenny was gone 4 days after, with the assistance of the vet that came to the house (I will write about this experience in another post in the future).
You might have lots of questions, thoughts, feelings, considerations, perhaps anger, sadness, helplessness…. Absolutely understandable, and it might be a lot to take in.
What my intention here is for this to be a conversation and something to explore.
We all have that gut feeling. What is your gut feeling telling you?
I know that I didn’t completely trust myself until I was pushed into making the decision, and even then, with all the information and evidence before me…. It was really hard to make this decision.
I am going to come out and say this: I WAS SELFISH. I wanted her to be with me for another day, and another day, and another day. But, she was done. Her body was done.
I am so grateful to have had the Animal Communicator confirm what I knew in my gut. Sometimes we need that reassurance.
So, if I could talk to the Pet Guardian/Pet Parent that I have mentioned at the beginning, I will tell her: “He is asking for you to make a different choice”.
There are different questions that I, as an Animal Communicator/Animal Intuitive, ask the Animal Companion/Pets when I connect with them (and there will be those that don’t want to be connected to or give any information; that is another story for another day ).
With some Animal Companion, they practically scream at me “YES YES YES”…. before I even ask. With others there are questions such as: if there anything else that can be done here? Is there anything else that they require? And many more questions.
Every situation is so different. With Jenny, it was a Yes immediately. There were no other questions required. It confirmed what I already knew, but it made it so so much more easier on me.
The message that I do want to drive home here and be totally frank with you is this:
We have to go beyond our needs and wants, and consider what they want and need and what gives them ease.
If you are in a situation that you get a feeling that you might need to make a different choice or do something differently and there is all this stuff going on with your Animal Companion/Pet…
Please ask yourself these questions: If I was taking myself out of the equation here, and I was not focusing on what I need and want, I wonder, what does my Animal Companion/my Pet needs and wants? What is he/she asking of me?
You are never wrong, you are a caring and loving Pet Guardian/Pet Parent, and for that your sweet Animal Friend is very grateful for you.